The Mysterious Case of the Canadian Cell Phone

I got my phone today!

It was a trial of epic proportions, truly a hero's journey of phone procurement.

My company, which shall remain unnamed here, gets a special deal with a specific cell provider in Canada, which shall also remain unnamed.  I could view these special deals online, and, also online, choose the phone I wanted and the plan I wanted, all at a special discounted rate.  The plan looked pretty decent- especially in Canada, where things like Caller ID and Voicemail can often run extra monthly charges.  There was just one problem- the phone I wanted, the iPhone 3GS (okay, so really I wanted a droid, but the phone company doesn't support them), was nowhere to be found on the site.

A mystery!  I put on my sleuthing hat, and called up the company's corporate line- since my corporation has a deal with them.  I explained the dilemma and the helpful representative informed me that I could go purchase the phone in a Phone Company store and have them set it up.  Then, once it was set up, I could call the corporate line again and ask them to change my plan to take advantage of my company deal.

Off I went!  After exploring the massive underground complex the Phone Company Store was housed in, I finally found the Phone Company Store!  My heart fell.  It was just a little kiosk- and a sign on the counter proclaimed that they were out of iPhones.

Not to be dissuaded, I boldly approached, with American swagger and a John Wayne attitude.  "Howdy, pardner," I said, "Looks to me like yer out of all yer iPhones.  Does that include older models, or does that thar sign only apply to the newfangled iPhone 4.0?"  Okay, maybe I used different words, but you get the idea.

What luck!  What joy!  The customer service rep informed me that he thought he had 2 iPhone 3GS's left... no wait... only one!  I expressed enthusiasm- it was the very model I wanted.  Now if I would kindly present two forms of ID and my SIN number....  Good heavens!  They use your SIN number for everything here.  After asking them to hold the phone for me (it comes to mind I missed an incredible pun there), I trekked back to my apartment, and then back to the store again.  25 to 50 minutes later (the actual purchase took a looooong time), a brand new iPhone 3GS was mine, and I was setting off back to my apartment to call corporate and get a much cheaper and more comprehensive plan.

Corporate Call #2: I spoke with a woman with a french accent, relatively common in these parts.  She informed me that the phone number I gave her couldn't be mine, because that number's registered to a woman who lives over in Sherbrooke.  I vow to check the number of my phone and call back.

Corporate Call #3: I had my number right.  I call back.  The man I'm speaking to expresses similar consternation.  What can be done, asks I?  Why, says he, we can change your number.  He did it, and my call dropped- which was expected.

Corporate Call #4: The kind lady I spoke to informed me that if I wanted to put my phone on the corporate account, the corporate account holder would have to call and do that for me.  That made sense to me, so I went ahead and authorized that, thinking I'd get HR to call them tomorrow and fix it up.

Corporate Call #5: Wait wait wait.  I don't want to put my phone ONTO a corporate account!  I want to take advantage of my corporation's discounted plans!  What's that, says the kind man I spoke to earlier?  You'll still be paying for the plan?  Then you don't want to talk to US, we're Business.  You want to talk to Personal.  I'll transfer you.

Transfer to Personal #7: Ohhhh, you want to change YOUR plan so that you take advantage of the discounted plans available to your corporation.  I can't do that for you- you'll want to talk to Business.  Hang on, I'll transfer you.  "WAIT," shrieks a nerve-flayed Hoss, "I just came from there!  Let me explain the whole situation, and then if you're still sure, you can transfer me to your heart's content."  Five minutes later, I'm on hold with Corporate again.

Corporate Call #8: Okay.  Finally I've got it right.  I want to change my plan such that it takes advantage of the discounted (and improved!) plans available to employees working for my corporation.  The young woman on the phone is very understanding, and tries to set everything up.  It takes quite some time, but it's clear the computer is being slow, and she's worried I'm upset.  I'm not particularly, but I wouldn't mind a little expediency.  Shortly enough, however, she's through!  There's only one issue... my free nights and weekends start at 8, but they should start at 6.  I can call Corporate tomorrow and speak with Customer Relations, and they will overwrite that feature at no extra charge to me.  I'm all set up!


All told, I was probably pursuing the goal of getting my phone set up the way I want it to for the better part of 3.5 hours... but in the end, I have prevailed!...


... I think.